1. When Karent walks up to the door to get into the party, the guy was clearly ignoring her:
And then, when he still wasn’t paying attention, did she seriously say, “Karent Sierra…Doctora” hahaha Oh, and did anyone notice her publicist was there with her?
2. Only in Miami…
3. The entire scene with Elaine and Mama Elsa was HIGHLY edited and at times, a bit hard to follow and understand; however, we still got some great moments out of it:
- “You accuse her of not letting you walk in that filthy red rag that is so important to you”
- “Ay please…Ay please!”
- Elaine even tried to help her when she was falling at the end, and she was such a bitch!
4. Talking head discussion:
- HAHAHA We are loving the DRAMA of Mama Elsa’s (the high backed chair, armrests, outfit…)
- Marysol looks great!
- New look from Adriana. Beautiful as always.
- Oh Alexia…
- Did they seriously give Marta Krupa a talking head? #orangeonorange
- Lisa’s talking heads are so bright! And there’s so much red and gold. Who the hell does she think she is? Adrienne Maloof? #regency
5. We do feel bad for Marysol and her problems with Philippe. She’s obviously still in love with him and it seems he really doesn’t care too much. Not to mention, we’ve seen Marysol out and about quite a few times this year and NEVER was Philippe with her…we really didn’t need the show to clue us in that that relationship is OVER, it really just confirmed it :(
6. Karent is so fake and annoying with that F-ing smile!
Adriana: “I don’t go to your office and pull anybody’s teeth.”
Karent: “No, ‘cause you can’t.”
Quite honestly though, the whole thing did seem like a bit of an ambush. Alexia went a little crazy. Regardless, we loved seeing these feisty Latinas get into it! OMG, did anyone else know that Karent was an actress?! Oh, and in terms of what happened with Karent mentioning Frankie, we don’t really think she meant to be a bitch, but the fallout of having mentioned his name was pretty bad…
7. Elsa was in full on C**T mode at the party. Fighting with Elaine, then pulling down Karent’s dress and insulting her? Bitch!
And Marysol was right there, ready to back her mother up with tearing this woman down:
8. Sidenote: did anyone else notice the lipstick on Marysol’s face??? #tragic
9. In other news, Ana is still totally in love with her husband. Why was she pretending to film him in the scene though? We get that reality TV isn’t exactly reality, but couldn’t she have at least turned the camera on? Absolutely bad editing, brought to you by: Purveyors of Pop. (no surprise there)
10. In case you missed it: Karent tells Lisa that she considered Alexia a friend…Alexia put a stop to that with her response on Twitter last night (we’re pretty sure this isn’t just for drama):
11. Lisa claims that Alexia and Adriana should pick on people their own size, and then follows that up with a snarky remark like “oh, wait, there aren’t many people their size.” Wait. Stop. Seriously? What is she talking about?! These women are far from large…#whatadumbass
12. It was so heartbreaking to see Alexia and her son, Frankie. Although, we are glad to hear that he is doing much better! But, did anyone catch that when Alexia tried to say that he was progressing, she pronounced it “PROGRESS-ING” instead of “PRO-GREESSING”?
13. Wow…the whole scene with Joanna and the emails between Romain and the other girl! (we captured as many of them as we could, and our favorite part is definitely where one of them says they have to go because it’s time to watch The Voice haha)
14. We are in LOVE with the scenes with Joanna and Marta. They are so funny. Love watching sister moments. One minute they’re screaming at each other “Screw you, I hate you right now!”, and the next, they are like “can you help me?”
16. What the hell was that contraption on Joanna’s sink?
17. “You made a table?” — We love Romain!
** So, after last night’s episode, Bravo treated us to another “this season on…”. At first it caught us off guard because, hello!, the season is already 6 episodes in! And then we got it. The first six episodes must have been a sort of test run for the girls, and now that we’re past that, the real stuff is about to begin. We can’t wait! Here’s what we’re thinking about the rest of the season:
- “Classless fame addicts with Botox for brains!” From what we’ve found out, from the Starcasm article quote below, this trash talking came from Karent’s mouth (not much of a surprise)…
- Who does Elaine push in the pool??
- Lea premieres some fabulous turban looks!
- Is it possible that we will get a crazy sister meltdown with Joanna and Marta at the lingerie party?
- Philippe returns!!
- Why is Lea crying into Elsa’s arms?!
- Lauren Foster and Elaine!
**Finally, Lisa Hochstein is an F-ing liar! During her appearance on WWHL last night, she said that she had begged her husband to do her boobs for her (she also revealed that she picked the outrageously large-for-her-body D-cup against her husband’s advice). However, if you’ll remember, she said a few weeks ago that he had done her boobs for her because he didn’t want people to associate her bad boob job with him. Well, someone needs to get their stories straight. How dumb is this girl? Obviously, the truth is what she revealed on WWHL, but why did she lie before? Oh, and she was looking extra “Simba-faced” last night too, don’t you think?
We just can’t get enough of this season of The Real Housewives of Miami. Every week it seems like there is so much to talk about, so let’s get started:
1. “There’s tons of men lining up for me, so I don’t care.”
2. Why did Karent and Rodolfo breakup for 6 months? After she explains that they broke up for awhile, she says it took her awhile to “fully trust” him again. Hmm.. Seems like the rumors about him texting and flirting with other girls may not be so false after all.
3. Karent has some interesting garden art:
4. I get that Karent is a dentist, but why does she have to have that annoying smile on her face all the time? Even when she’s crying…
5. We felt pretty bad for Lisa this episode. Three miscarriages in three years? No matter how we feel about her previous behavior, that is horrible for anyone to go through. However, while learning this information and seeing how it has affected her made us relate a little more, her entire personality is a little all over the place. One minute she’s having a deep conversation with her maid (a recovering alcoholic) and acting like she cares, and the next, she’s inviting the woman for shots? Oh, and then later in this episode, she says that she doesn’t like to talk about people behind their back when they can’t defend themselves; but yet, in the next scene, she’s doing just that, talking about Adriana when she’s not there. Tsk-tsk, Lisa…(btw, how weird are her lips?)
6. Speaking of Lisa’s plastic surgery, does anyone else think she has a strange resemblance to a lioness?
6. Lea had some great lines tonight…and looked fabulous as always!
“Where’s my girl?”
“SOLD?! Who bought it? You?”
“Tell the truth, how much airbrushing did you have to do?”
7. Adriana looked great in her photograph: Adriana’s Pandora Box. (We do agree that it was a little small though…)
8. Apparently, Yaacov Agam is Adriana’s MASTER…she even got on her knees for him! (“It’s kinetic because kinetic means movement.”)
9. We understood why Adriana was upset. As Lea said, “art is Adriana’s thing.” Next time, maybe Karent will realize that she doesn’t need to be a part of everything. Adriana says she wants to meet the artist, and then Karent jumps right in there and wants to meet him too. Adriana wants to take a picture, and then Karent wants a picture. Not to mention, she “beat [Adriana] to the tweet!” Hello? She totally heard Adriana say that she wanted to take a photo for her “twitter fans,” and then she had to jump right in there and tweet her photo too. Not cool, Karent. Oh, and was it weird to you guys that Adriana was speaking in Spanish and then switched over to French? Was that an attempt to keep Karent from understanding the conversation?
11. We got a kick out of Adriana freaking out about Frédéric “manhandling” her “DAH-LI.”
Btw, did anyone notice the photo of Adriana and OBAMA on her piano? It was hard to make out, but we dug up a full version of the picture for your comparison:
12. During the art event at the Moore Building (where Adriana showed off her Dalí), Ana, Lea and James (aka Elaine Lancaster) had a bit of a kiki and discussed Marysol.
Our biggest question was this: Why didn’t Lea hire Marysol back?? What did Marysol do to “blow it?” Fingers crossed that we will find out at some point this season. But until then, all we can do is speculate.. Why do you think she wasn’t hired back? From what we’ve heard, a number of Marysol’s biggest clients have been dropping her left and right. Pobresita. What is going on with her?!
13. HAHAHAHAHA…how did she not notice that?
(in case you didn’t get it…there is a cocktail straw in Lisa’s hair!)
14. At dinner with Karent and Joanna, Lisa decided to invent this signal:
And, we did appreciate Karent’s honesty: “I realized this must be someone really famous, so I want a picture too!” I guess if you want to be a fame-whore, go right ahead…
15. “Money can’t buy you class”… “but it can buy you an ass!”
16. We were a little tickled to see that Ana has a lock on her closet to keep her daughters out. However, that is so three years ago! Hello? Mary Amons anyone…
17. Okay, so we know we’ve discussed this before, but Purveyors of Pop (the production company that produces the RHOM) is really pissing us off with trying to set up scenes with false façades. Remember a few weeks ago, when they pretended that Karent and Rodolfo were at the Ritz Spa, when really they were at some shitty location in South Miami? Well, they did it again last night! Here’s what they showed before cutting to the scene of Joanna getting ready in a hotel room before the Winter Party Festival:
Now, here’s the shot of her in the hotel room:
Do you think we’re stupid Purveyors of Pop? Clearly that is not the same place. In fact, they are not even near each other! The first shot is of the Fontainebleau, and the second is in the Lord’s hotel! For further clarification, here is a shot of a hotel room that we pulled from the Lord’s hotel website:
See the resemblance? For some reason, either the people doing the editing have no idea about the locations in Miami, or they just think the audience is so dumb we won’t notice. Either way, it’s beginning to get on our nerves. Moving on…
18. We’re a little skeptical about Romain’s innocence when it comes to the situation with the dancer at Mynt. First of all, he tried to change the subject too quickly, and he was definitely caught off guard, as was evidenced by his laugh. That laugh was everything. By trying to laugh it off, he just made us more suspicious. Not to mention, he got super defensive when she brought up the fact that it wasn’t too crazy of a story because that was how they had met! (apparently, her ex-boyfriend was around the night they had first met). In any case, it was all a bit odd. It seems like we’ll just have to wait and see what happens…as Joanna says, “the truth will come out eventually.”
19. It was great to see a shot of Miami drag queen, Chyna! (even if it was only for a second)
20. Why was Marta stirring things up? It seems like somebody is desperate for some attention and is wishing she was a housewife herself! She will do anything to get some camera time, even if it means airing her sister’s dirty laundry. Totally inappropriate.
To wrap up, next week’s episode looks quite promising. The notorious Thomas Kramer will make his first appearance and it looks like Elsa is back and getting a little crazy!
The Real Housewives of Miami are really proving themselves this season! Talk about DRAMA. But, what we love about the Miami drama is that it’s just good old-fashioned “Housewives-style”: gossip, cat fights, relationship drama, etc. Translation: none of that dark, disturbing family backstabbing going on there…
Here are our observations from last night’s episode:
1. WE LOVE LEA! We just can’t get enough of her. This screenshot from last night’s episode just says it all:
2. Marysol is BORING. But, then again, you probably already knew that. Yet again, she was thrown a random evergreen scene last night that seeks to make us believe that she has things going on in her life…Alas, it just seemed to backfire because she looked even more boring than before. Give us something! Stir something up! Elaborate on what’s going on with you and Philippe!! ANYTHING!
3. Where was Mama Elsa last night?
4. We LOVED seeing our friend Elaine Lancaster last night! From what she’s told us, things between her and Marysol don’t get cleared up anytime soon, and Mama Elsa even gets involved. When asked about Elsa, Elaine had two words to describe her: homophobic gargoyle… So, I guess that clears up any questions we had about how their feud turns out.
6. Lea and Joanna premiered some new talking head interview looks last night, and we are in LOVE!
7. The scene where Romain gets his citizenship made us proud to be American and really reminded us what our country is all about. Congratulations Romain!
8. It was confirmed for us, yet again, that Lisa Hochstein is a self-absorbed little bitch who uses her good deeds to appear like a better person, but in reality, only cares about herself. And, sidenote: why are you having a recovering alcoholic make you drinks in the middle of the afternoon? Talk about insensitive. But, then again, that’s not really the worst of it. Watch the video below and judge for yourself:
9. We got a kick out of Joanna’s meltdown. And, it wasn’t exactly surprising, once we saw just how fucking WASTED she was! Ah well..to be young, sexy and beautiful. Let her enjoy herself. But we have to admit, we had the same reaction as Karent:
It kind of came out of nowhere, right? Our theory is that given the setting (i.e. a nightclub at 2AM), it wasn’t possible for them to film her altercation with Marta’s EX/the DJ and so we only got her coming back into the VIP room, after everything had gone down. Hence, the reason for the out-of-the-blue breakdown. Whatever the case, it kept us entertained!
11. The poll question last night on WWHL was pretty dumb:
Clearly we all knew who was going to win that one! Surprising, however, was that Marysol came in SECOND! Yep. That’s right, with 20% of the votes, followed by Adriana with 19%. Come on people! Seriously?
So that’s it! Let us know your own thoughts on the episode in the comments section below. See you all soon…
Oh, and if anyone is interested, Lea Black also has a handbag line… For almost $3500, you can own this:
The price seems pretty steep to us, but then again, looking like the fabulous Mrs. Black ain’t cheap! #cantdealwithstupid
Are we in high school again? Someone get the ruler! During last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of Miami, an interesting Twitter conversation arose when Purveyors of Pop, the production company that produces the Real Housewives of Miami and the Real Housewives of New Jersey, posed the following question:
Joanna was quick to respond:
And then, in case we didn’t get it:
However, not ones to usually shy away from the attention, Joe and Melissa Gorga were remarkably silent! Purveyors of Pop didn’t seem to like being ignored, and had this to say:
Still no response, so they kept pushing:
Eventually, they just gave up. But, not before appearing tragically desperate to cross promote their shows. Maybe next time they can be a little more subtle…
So, here it is…our first RHOM episode recap!
First of all, could we please give it a rest with the salsa music?! I get that we’re in Miami, but come on..do we really need a stereotypical (some may even say racist), musical reminder of that every time we get a scene change. We get it! Moving on..
So right from the beginning, we are again forced to hear about the Karent v. Ana situation, as Ana and Alexia discuss the Ocean Drive party from the first episode. From what it looks like, this is really the only real drama at this point, so it’s no surprise that Bravo is really pushing this.
Then, we cut to Karent and her BF, Rodolfo, at a spa day. It turns out to be pretty boring: Karent goes on and on about their relationship and his divorce, blah, blah, blah.. It quickly became apparent though, that this was the theme of the episode–relationships and who’s getting married/doesn’t want to get married/isn’t ready to get married, etc. I must say though, one thing that did catch my eye, and this happens quite a bit, is the scene leads in with a shot of Collins Ave and the camera lands on the Ritz Carlton before we are shown the actual spa room. Clearly they are trying to make us believe that they were at the Ritz, but last night Karent tweeted that they were at the Gloria Hincapié Esthetic Center & Spa (2380 South Dixie Hwy. Miami, FL 33133). Now anyone from Miami knows that’s nowhere near South Beach. In fact, I actually Googled the address, and below is a shot of the outside… Now I understand why they chose not to give us the real façade.
Then there’s two quick filler scenes, or as I’ve learned from Alex McCord, evergreen scenes, that follow Lisa to her husband’s office and another one that’s basically all about Romain’s “nasty-ass penis” and his “forest” (check out our next post about the Twitter conversation that this scene sparked).
Moving ahead, the theme of marriage and relationships takes center stage, once again, as Lisa, Adriana and their significant others head to The Yacht and Brokerage Show to “get ideas” for Frédéric’s boat. Lisa asks Adriana why she doesn’t wear her ring, which sparks the whole conversation about her and Frédéric’s future plans. It seems important to note that Adriana has taken a bit of an opposite stance from season 1 regarding this topic, and I’m a bit curious as to why. Last season, it seemed like she was constantly bringing up the question and begging to discuss wedding plans, whereas now it seems like she’s become quite passive in the matter, claiming that she doesn’t want to ruin what they have. The first season was shot a few years ago though, so a lot could have happened between then and now. What I do know is that I believe they are totally in love, regardless of whether they are married or not. Having seen them out and about in Miami at numerous events, you can see how supportive he is of her, and how much he cares for and loves her son. Oh, and one more thing, did anyone else see how awkward it was when Lisa suggested how cute Adriana and Frédéric’s kids would be? haha It was totally obvious that Adriana does not foresee and kids in her future and Frédéric clearly doesn’t want any, from what she’s said.
Also, speaking of Adriana, she premiered a few new “talking head” interview looks! What do you guys think?
Returning to Karent, she has a meeting with her publicist, Liza Santana, who just looks CRAZY! (see image below) And I couldn’t help but laugh at her extreme excitement for Brickell Fashion Week! I mean, come one. I lived in Miami for four years, and NEVER had I heard of Brickell Fashion week. Oh, and was Karent drinking in her office in the middle of the day? What was up with that? I guess that’s just typical behavior for a dentist who’s establishing her practice “one celebrity at a time.” hmmm
In the next scene, Mama Elsa makes a bizarre appearance at The Patton Group. Two things about this visit: (1) Marysol tells her mother that the knock on the door wasn’t necessary because she doesn’t entertain naked there. Well, sadly, I don’t think she entertains naked anywhere :( And what is going on with Philippe btw? Was Lea right? Did he just need a green card?! (2) The rice and perfume thing was so weird. The employees seemed totally weirded out, and quite honestly, it seems like Elsa is losing it this season. What is going on with her? While it’s entertaining to a point, it quickly becomes exaggerated and theatrical. Let’s see how many more of these bizarre scenes we’ll need to endure this season.
Towards the end of the episode, we are given two juxtaposed scenes that are evidently supposed to show us the conflict-ridden nature of Joanna and Romain’s relationship and the happiness of Adriana and Frédéric’s. Personally though, I was more focused on how empty the Forge was! For those of you who don’t know, The Forge is an iconic restaurant in Miami (this is also where they threw the Season 2 premiere party) and rarely is it ever not bursting at the seams with patrons clamoring to get a table amongst the A-listers that frequent the place. Do they honestly believe that they could fool us into thinking that they taped this “dinner date” at a reasonable hour? Not a chance! Oh well.. I guess sometimes you just have to suspend your disbelief for a minute and over look this kind of stuff. Clearly, it seems like this is going to be an issue the entire season.
Finally, at the Swine and Wine event, we are given some real drama! (Btw, Adriana and Frédéric looked so chic in that car!)
Once all the ladies arrive, the Karent/Ana/Rodolfo drama begins to heat up, and thanks to Lea’s straightforward, no BS attitude, the two ladies are forced to confront each other. Now what bothered me the most about this whole situation, and what really bothers me about Karent actually, is her annoying little smug attitude. When they brought up the texts, Karent repies “Yes, WE got a text”, with a fake little smile. Then, Ana shoots back about how she “thought he’d be with you [Karent] on Valentine’s Day” to which she quickly refutes with, “No..we had a romantic dinner on Skype.” All in all, the whole thing was so stupid! It was like two passive-aggressive high school girls fighting over some douchebag. But what seemed most interesting was how quickly Karent just changed the subject and shut the whole conversation down. Instead of seeming like she was “above the drama” or whatever, she really came off as someone who knew she couldn’t win the argument and wanted to end things before Ana really embarrassed her. And another thing: as soon as Karent left, Ana was showing the other ladies the texts from Rodolfo. Why the hell didn’t she just show the texts to Karent then? I guess they’re saving that for the reunion.
Anyways, the episode wraps up with us learning that Marta is moving in with Lisa (I wonder how that will turn out), and Joanna provides us with one of the funniest screenshots from the episode. “Wait, WHAT?!?”
Oh, and Elaine Lancaster makes her debut next week! Can’t wait for that. Had a conversation with her a few weeks ago, and from what I’ve learned, things get crazy and Mama Elsa may not be the caring woman that we think she is.. Homophobia anyone?